Friday, August 29, 2008

Ñarcissisш Vs $elf Conſidence

Those who read this post of mine would have known how I was tagged as a Narcissist and all my efforts to safe guard myself from the attack by maggie went in vain.Some one said it truely "always listen to girls and never ever argue with them, guy will always loose" I am following it and its quite helpful :D Anyways, I'm not sharing my "gyan" on this post; may be some other time.

Since the day I was labeled as a narcissist, I was doubting myself, is it bad to know yourself and love yourself ? Is it a waste of time to introspect and start knowing what is right for you and to discover the formula which would solve your equation of life !!! Did I over do it knowing myself much better then any one else could have done ?? or does it come out as a try to get some attraction by talking about myself ?? With the course of time I realized its not at all bad, its a positive sign, it helps me with the decision making and it keeps the spark alive that Chetan Bhagat talks about. With the course of time I learnt that there is a thin line between being Narcissist and being Self Confident.

According to Dictionary

Narcissist means : In ordination fascination with oneself; excessive self -love, erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes !!!

Self Confident means : Sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one's own abilities, correctness, successfulness, etc !!!!

So what to call a person who is in love with him self and does talk a lot about his abilities, correctness and successfulness, if not exactly that; then at least his learning and his approach towards the life. Or the one who is trying to figure out a better way to live life in the present world without compromising on the true goal of life , without harming and hurting any one. What would you call a person who has a self belief and is trying to do the right things knowing the obstacles on the way.

Yeah, i am exactly like that, I have some how figured out a little bit about the "Ideal or a Perfect"way to live life and feel like taking it to the next level which is letting others know about it as well, its not the easiest but still very practical as long as you know your self, I have been appreciated and encouraged to continue with it, but at times I try too hard to share the right things to others and ask them to follow it too and that's when the confidence turns into narcissism !!!

"No one likes to see the mirror when you don't look good in it",so when I tell someone to follow the right thing no matter what, my confidence of "to be good to others" turns into a narcissism of being good then him/her. So is it wrong to be confident and not sharing your confidence with others ? If it is that then let me be An Exception coz had Gandhi ji didn't believe in his values India wouldn't have got its Independence, had Bill Gates didn't believe in his Vision there wouldn't have been "information technology, had Google didn't believe in its "Innovation" I wouldn't have have shared this with you through blog!!!! Lets share the "Confidence, Values & Vision" with others and contribute to make this world a better place to live !!!!

Cheers !!!!

18 ₮ħōűģȟτs:

Diva said...

Each one of is a Narcissist at heart.. at least a lil' bit!!!And this we cannot deny!!!
We all want to be the best in evrything we do and at everything we become!!
I agree there is a thin line b/w self-confidence and narcissism. But what makes the difference is how we project it out to the world....
When you have the confidence in you and you know that you are right at what you do and BELIEVE in yourself entirely, then WHY NOT??? You needn't be termed a Narcissist... I would rather it XXTRA CONFIDENCE :D :) which is of course, always good.
Next time someone calls you a Narcissist, I would rather say they are just jealous of your ever-positive attitude towards life due to their failures at adapting to such a 'Perfect' way of life(as you say it)..
Cheers to you :)

Aditi ''Jiggs'' said...

well all ill say is be what ur and do wt u want, rest the rest to others cz wn u achieve something or r somewhr ppl will follow suit
let the time come ppl will know
n yes everybody who says 'i am not a narcissist is just being modest ':P

Smriti Srivastava said...

Good post...have had discussions with you about this confidence and narcisism thingy earlier so wouldnt want to add to it.

And seriously speaking...my first impression of you was that of a Narcissist...it changed when i got talking and I realised how together and confident a person you are. A secret: I admire it and I wish I could be so damn positive too.

Loved your post... well written and spontaneous.

«« hAdez »» said...

1) A true narcissist can never develop. It will be harder for him than any normal person to accept the reality.
2) if u r actually a narcissist u need friends to make u hate urself, at ur current status. Remember:''Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.'' as Sun-tzu(Chinese general & military strategist)
3) Maybe it is because of this "narcissist-effect" that u r able to assume tht u havnt hurt or harmed anybody. Maybe this is blocking ur view.
4) Dood! if u r saying anything, it applies firstly to u. "No one likes to see the mirror when you don't look good in it" When was the last time u looked into tht mirror of your's. Do u still 'love' urself ? If yes, then maybe we have a person so incorruptible, he dosent need any further change.

Maybe u r the narcissist as u r able to boast urself as an exception :) . The question is, wheather its gud or not ? u answer.

«« hAdez »» said...

haha... people surrounding you are really good 'friends' :P

Vandita said...

well u dropped by my blog and i followed the link here...
i absolutely looove ur template and i have a very strong feelin that i will come back to read and blogroll u :)

Ashish Surana said...

==>> Divya

Thanks for appreciating my thoughts, couldn't have ask more then that !!! I am not a narcissist just a bit more confident :D

And i dont think any one would be jealous of me coz I am not that a bigger personality to admire !!!

Ashish Surana said...

==>> Aditi

Its not that simple to do what i want specially when you find your self walking lonely on the road !!!

Anyways, still a long way to go..!! So cheers to life....

Ashish Surana said...

==>> Smriti

Thanks for commenting, but I guess there is much more required then just confidence !!!!

Keep reading and enjoy !!

Ashish Surana said...

==>> Hadez !!!

1) I accept the reality implies I am not a narcissist !!!!!

2) I know you have quite a bit of knowledge about Chinese civilization n military :P

3) I already proved I am not a narcissist :D , just a bit more confident !!!

4) I love myself and hv every right to do that, I always try to improve not Change..and may be guess you are still living with the "assumption" that I can never change, if thats the case then you need a change with your perception about me !!!

And i didnt get wat you trying to say with next comment of ursss !!! :O

Aphrodite said...

im a narcisssist too...but doesn't mean..i don't love or appreciates others...go boy do whtevr u wanna..and in a democratic bharat varsh...u have the rite too...be a narcissist..:P

«« hAdez »» said...

comment @ comment >>

1. " I accept the reality implies I am not a narcissist !!!!! "
if
i say that u r a narcissist and U do not accept that then u r NOT accepting the reality, which again confirm that u r a narcissist.
if i say that u r a narcissist and U do accept there is no point arguing.
< endif > :P

2. That wsnt about China that was about ''friends'' ;)

3. " I already proved I am not a narcissist :D , just a bit more confident !!! "
No point discussing aftr stating point 1.

4.1 Improvement is i guess a positive CHANGE. But, anyways, considering that u r improving and not changing, who is to decide about the positiveness of that change :)

4.2 Even i discard all the facts and the platonian or anti-platonian theories... I 'd say that you havn't changed (much) but i ll leave it to your introspection for now.

The clue for the next comment is... " U can see what i can see "

Ashish Surana said...

==>> Aphrodite

Yup sure !!!

Feels like all narcissists visiting my blog :D

Ashish Surana said...

==>> Hadez

If you can see wat i can see then there is no point making it public, let us see each other by ourselves :D

We Rock Dude !!! ;)

Express said...

Nice write up, and I agree when u say that its good to let others know of your confidence; but..

There is this thin line between letting others know/ showing confidence and showing others down/ being self obsessive. See, maybe I am getting it all wrong, but under any-case, even if your intentions are best, 'how you do things' is important.
u forgot 2 mention ego n pride as a part of the whole story though. Nevemind, amazing attempt. :-)

Plus,
The mirrors lie.
I am beautiful anyway, I don't mirrors to prove anything to me.

:-D

Cheers!

Ashish Surana said...

==>> Express

I guess you are right, it does matter how it comes out, but....

Ego n Pride didn't come to my mind so might write some other day !!!

I never knew "Mirrors lie" !!! :P

Shrutilaya said...

Confidence - GOOD.
Over-Confidence - BAD.

You commented on my blog, so I thought I'd check yours out, I like. =)

Keep visitin' mine!

Ashish Surana said...

==> Shrutiliya

Come onnn...we are not here to make deals...are we ? :P

Anyways keep checking my space :D