Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Kal, Aaj aur Kal !!!!


The title of the post is being adopted by an old hindi movie starring Prithiviraj Kapoor, Raj Kapoor and Randhir Kapoor (if i am correct), the movie was about thinking of 3 different generations and problems related to them but being inspired by Pritam's music, I think I would be let off for any charges against me for using this tittle for my own purpose.Anyways, I am not going to write about 3 generations coz I dont have any, I am youngest in the family and still single :D , so you might have guessed by now kal, aaj aur kal here refers to my past ,present n future !!!

Since I haven't posted any thing about my school or college life any where on the web world, I take this opportunity for it to be one of the very few, to pen down my experiences during school n college days. Though it was one of the main reason of my "Past Blogging Career" to write about it coz I could share my views about my Happy days and Not so Happy Days but i couldn't. Anyways past days are gone and life is all changed now, with no more college days and no hostel life but still, I think I am left with 4 days to write about it, 4 days coz after exact 4 days I would be graduated and would be officially Tagged as B.Tech from Civil Engineering Department of IIT Delhi for ever !! Yeah Yeah I'm having my convocation on coming saturday !!!

Those who know me from my school days would hardly believe that I actually made it to one of the Premier Institute of India and actually managed to complete that in the alloted 4 years, coz I wasn't into studies till I was 17, I still remember March 2003, Indian Cricket team was in south africa, It was India vs Pakistan on 1st march and I saw every ball of it, knowing that I have my board exams from 19th of March. I saw every match including India vs Australia,the final of it,on 23rd March, I saw that till 3 AM in the night and I had one of toughest exam on the very next morning at7:30 AM (if required I can share details of that too :D). Before the year 2003, I never thought I need to study for my living coz My father is working, my brother is a genius so why should I work hard when I already know my "safe' future, another reason being the least expectations from me since I never used to touch my school bag when I was at home, always busy playing cricket, going here n there and one more important thing which you might be thinking of, I was never into gals, I was in a guys school, wasn't much interested into Tutions and all, always tried to study by myself so hardly interacted with girls. Actually I was so stupid that I couldn't really figure out why would a girl (who now i think had a crush on me) try to talk to a rude and arrogant person like me, so I just ignored her and went on :D

(I know even you calling me stupid now)

Anyways being shortest in my friend circle and youngest at the home, I had a fair bit of advantage and also some disadvantages :( . So here I was with no aim in my life, no specialty, no idea about the future and more importantly I wasn't confused coz I didn't want to do anything at all. (People get confused when they want to do many things at a time). Some positives about me where, I was consistent with my results (83 %-85%), I loved maths and still do it, was very short tempered (yeah i take it as positive,continue reading you will find why) and had an attitude to be happy with himself, I never compared myself with others and I still don't !!! So after completing my 12th and with a good enough rank in one of the competitive exam, I was all set to join the best college of my state in best possible branch, but some how I wasn't happy with it, coz I didn't want to belong to the same group of students I shared school with (My Best friends being exceptions), so I thought of doing something big, some different with out knowing what that "something" was. Here I must thank my Brother (I know thanks is too little word), he some how used my short tempered nature for my benefit and asked me to do a simple thing, clearing a exam call JEE !!!! I agreed and moved over to Kota, the Mecca of JEE Prep, with only thing in mind and to prove my brother that I am not that stupid as he thinks, I studied n studied, 16 hours a day, for next 9 months, i didn't know where JEE would take me to, do i really want to do that or not, I had no idea !!! But then with nothing in my mind and "Something" to do, I chose it to be that way !!

So after all the hard work and exams, on 18th June, results were out and a very happy excited voice (my brother) told me my rank, and I went into depression, I was as low with my average energy as my brother was above , so I spent next 3 days without having food and sitting in one corner of my home, without talking much, my parents trying to cheer me up and It effected my the least !! I am sure you would be surprise that I behaved that why after clearing JEE, but thats how life goes when you don't compare your self with others and keep high expectations from yourself !!!

I finally felt nice when I was given a Nokia 2100 as my gift, and I told my parents i wont study any more now, I would just go and enjoy my college life, the promises that I made to myself were 1) I would atleast have one very good female friend in college (just a friend), was too keen n curious about it
2) I won't study coz I am already in top 1% of India's Science maths studying students and since college is the fun life, i would just enjoy the life !!!

As it turned out, both of my Promises/ assumptions were wrong, neither was I good enough by nature/behavior to be someone's friend nor was I one of the top 1 % of those students. It all went wrong for the first two years of my college life, primarily coz I forgot my basics, I started comparing myself with others and I tried to be what I was not !!! So I just wasted 2 years of beautiful college life, I wasn't able to be friends with my hostel mates, could never talk with any one of my college girls (Though its diff. that there were hardly any1 I felt like talking to) and since I had so many pre assumed notions that everyone found me so weird and strange person to company with. Out of shear frustration from academic system and life in general, I convinced myself to live for myself and be myself, no matter what everyone thinks of me, that again turned out to be wrong decision and don't know why I started with a fair bit of introspection and broke all rules I had for myself, it went for a month if i remember correctly (May-June 2006) and finally realized what my exact problem was. I was trying too hard to change myself and to be what i was not.I had always been positive and hard working individual then why did I try to take short cuts, why did I try to behave the way others would like me to behave, knowing that I can't be that !!!

So after two long years, I finally improved myself or rather started behaving naturally, what i really was, I was able to use my strengths for my good be it working hard, be it positive attitude,be it just helping others or be it just behaving like a general; kind and humble person. I could see the change with in me, i was feeling more happy about myself and about others too. Most of the person whom i met there after liked my company, found me a good person, some one who they can trust on, a nice person to talk to and a person who can make them feel positive about everything. This went on for the next two years and I feel very very lucky that some friends did change their perception about me and accepted me the way I am. I was very lucky to have this person around me, coz he is like a mirror to me with a different perception about everything I thought and it helped me correcting myself many a times !! At some point of time in my college life, the word "Friend" was the word I used to hate coz more or less it covers every kind of relationship but now I love this word for the very same reason.

I am getting a bit senti now, knowing that I would be meeting all of them in the next 2 days, feels really happy to go back to college and meet all of those who did help me making me a better person !!! Things which I wanted to write but missed writing this blog would be updated very soon !!! So keep checking the space out. The most important part of the post is in the next paragraph so continue reading...!!!!

Learning

The Primary reason to write the post was to share what I learnt all these years, during my school and college life ... and the following thoughts are my own personal feelings, i'm not expecting you to agree with all of them.

1) Attitude is one of the most important thing in life, coz it reflects how you would react when you are pushed against the wall.

2) College days are the most memorable and wonderful years of life so just enjoy those knowing where you heading.

3) Always remember your Basics and use your strengths !!! Act and work the way you naturally do.

4) Always keep less expectations, it helps you to enjoy what ever you achieve and your attitude decides the next step.

5) Never have pre assumed notions about everything, believe in facts and figures coz things are not always the way you assume them to be.

6) Change is the only constant thing in life so accept the changes as they come !!!

Thats enough for this post, I am already getting late, got a train to catch in just about couple of hours, All comments (good or bad) would be appreciated !!!

Stay happy and keep smiling !!!

Enjoy the life and I hope I would have a great time !!!

10 ₮ħōűģȟτs:

Smriti Srivastava said...

That was beautifully done... :) Good to know about your school life for a change. :)

Yeah, for me, I agree just being yourself and not compromising your true self, always helps. Also, the expectations part...so true...

Anyways,have fun meeting ol' buddies...and get me something real nice from Delhi :D

See you when you are back and posting ;) Cheers!!

Diva said...

Good one... I agree with all the 5 points, without doubt!!!I have learnt a lot of these facts thru' personal expereince as well... kudos to u for being able to put them in words and being able to set them as values for life to be lived with...

Cheers for your Graduation!!!
haffun with frens and ROCK ON!!! :)

Aphrodite said...

wooohooo one long post...nice one...thanks for blogrolling me....but im at a new address now buddy....check that out...:)

«« hAdez »» said...

Not saying all those things are not true or otherwise...

But u just cant decipher the mystery of life so easily :-) .. 10 years down the line u ll be able to rewrite this same blog in different words( not meaning tht ur english 'd b btr/worse ).

«« hAdez »» said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
«« hAdez »» said...

mera 'A' capital kyu ni aa raha :(

Ashish Surana said...

==@ Smriti

Thanks for commenting, I really had lots of fun, felt very nice and hoping to write another post following this one !!!

==@ Diva

There are 6 points not 5 :P and its gud that you learnt from ur experiences, would be gud if you learn from ur mistakes and try not to repeat them again

=@ Aphrodite

I will check out ur new blog address. Thanks for commenting though

==@ hAdez

Please refer to the last point of last paragraph !! :)

And your "a" is Not "A" coz you might have used it in your about me/name/id.

«« hAdez »» said...

I din get nething out f tht last para...

its a not A coz this converts evry character of string to lower case

shubhra... said...

hey its smthing any1 will feel connected to.... gues my xperiences hv been more or less ...kind of same.. cool yar. i njoyd it while ready..
so carry on..all d best

Ashish Surana said...

==@ Shubhra

I have a brief idea about your college life, you n ur counter part :P

Anyways, M looking forward for your blog !! :)