One year hence.....Part 2

I have been visiting my blog regularly but never felt like writing one for various reasons. Tonight, i have the time and a right frame of mind to complete this blog. So here it goes....

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Sept 2, 2010, the date when i left the city which i didn't really like and moved to a homely environment with the dude around all the time. I witnessed what i always wished, seeing him learn everything..... from speaking, crawling, standing, eating etc etc. On the other hand, I was running out of time coz I was jobless and surely, it isn't the best feeling as you have been habitual to a routine & keeping yourself occupied. The "khali dimag" gives you a lot of doubts about yourself and your future. The various things that can possibly go wrong and the questions you may be asked...!!

Anyway, at the back of my mind, i knew that i am moving on to put more efforts and not here to give up. So the success is inevitable, it may just take a bit of time. So I had plans and a fair idea of what i wanted to do in the free days. Looking for a better job was one, studying was second and visiting my native place & staying there for a period of 2 weeks or more was the third one. The whole September went in all form of interviews, multiple interviews happening on a single day etc etc..i am sure i don't have the most attractive resume but i broke the code of appearing on the top of the list in search results for various job portals leading to the interview calls.

Of all the interviews that happened, the one i got through was the one where i got the feeling of getting through within the first 10 mins of 1/5 round of interviews. Something that helped me understand the meaning of intuition, destiny or whatever.....you get a different feeling from the start that you would succeed. I finally got the final offer on 29th Sept and to my destiny or surprise..it was again in the same city of Hyderabad, which meant that I would have to set up all the things again, at the very same place which I didn't like much. The good thing about the offer was I had asked a joining post Diwali which ensured that i have one & half month long break and a new life awaiting on the other side of it.

All the self doubts, fear and insecurity turned into a joyous feeling and a belief that everything happens for good.  I started to feel a bit more confident and a lot more positive ...and that's what a sense of achievement or success does to you. The next one month passed with a lot of thinking & planning on what to do from here.  The mistakes & things that led to negativism shouldn't be repeated and do whatever it takes to keep myself motivated & positive. The role, I was offered wasn't the most ideal one, but i decide that i would get the best of it, learn and develop skills that i want to and explore all the opportunities. Additionally, keep a balanced life and at least have sometime for everything otherwise it would make me feel stuck again

The next 45 holidays were not as stressful as the last 29 days, however i was still getting calls and getting interviewed. I moved to my native place with my parents for next one month or so and interviews kept following me. One fine day, i got another offer and now the confusion was which one to join. The second offer wasn't the attractive one in terms of compensation but was in Gurgaon and might require me to work from UK for a span of up to 2 years. The point was they asked me join in such a hurry that i sensed something is wrong. With the help of IIT network, i did find out that they do it with each person they hire even if there isn't any work. I told them that i would join on so & so date but i didn't. 

Anyway, i spent a much needed time with my parents. The longest i have had in past 4 years and observed the changes in their lives and expectations from us as children. How much they have compromised & sacrificed to put me in a position that I could give a decent enough job for nothing. The whole month gave me enough energy & motivation to set my priorities straight and head out to achieve what i want to... staying with in my limitations & moral responsibility. 

2 weeks later...14th Nov 2010, i moved back to Hyderabad to a different organization with different expectations and much more people in the surroundings. A different brand, culture & environment all together and hence i had to be different from what I was, so i changed my approach...a bit more aggressive..a bit more professional & a lot more smart in dealing with people.

Just like any other year....a lot has happened since 15th Nov 2010 to 6th Nov 2011. .. will blog about it and rest of the ideas if and when the time permits.

Continued....

In continuation of the previous blog, here are some of the reactions from different IIT's students on one of this site : http://www.zeenews.com/states/2009-03-22/517086news.html

• What is most astonishing is the way the administration tried to curb the movement of the students. The internet and the LAN in the college had also been cut off. The news article presents a one sided view of the police force & the administration. -Student - IIT Kharagpur
• This news is totally one sided. It seems that you have pictured students as some kind of criminals. The students didn`t go ballistic as first response. The protests were made when the management took the issue lightly. What exactly did you mean by ``The Director and his family members were safe`` did you think that students are gonna hurt the directer and his family. -Student - IIT Kharagpur - Kharagpur
• Director responded pathetically to the situation.He was making fun of the situation.Institute put a lan ban on the students to prevent them from letting the world know the true news .The condition of B.C.ROY Hospital is pathetic .Last year also a student died due to negligence of the authorities.When students went to talk to the director ,he thought we just wanted a holiday .He talked in an insulting language ```I appreciate your presence and sympathize with everyone here` - director with a smile on his face.then the students protested and made him resign -Arpan Kumar De - IIT KHARAGPUR

This is a site of IIT Kgp, rather a news paper..... http://scholarsavenue.targetiit.com/

Reading the article on the above site, I can just say "Fuck IIT System"

:-| :-( :'(

I was here to write something good that i have been feeling from last 3-4 days but then i read the exact news of what had happened to the IIT Kgp student who died a week back and things changed..here is the true story, the one that would never reach to media or out of IIT Kgp by any other means except IIT's students itself...read on

http://grassonfire.blogspot.com/2009/03/rohit-kumar-will-be-remembered.html

This is only one of the reaction of 100's of IITians :

http://antiquiti.blogspot.com/2009/03/iit-kgp-grease-monkey-ed.html

And as an Ex-IITian , I can believe that coz its exactly this way, students die and the gods at IIT cover it up. I have seen that when a junior of mine committed suicide and everything was covered up right then and there.

I don't know what else to write about this coz I hated IIT admin and still do, it is inefficient and "chalta hai" attitude !!

To learn from the mistake, one needs to accept the mistake and the arrogant IIT systems never does that !!!

Not so good days

I don't why but I am forgetting my own ideologies and rules..

........feeling insecure about things which I never wanted;
........feeling frustrated about the fact that my existence / non-existence wont affect anyone, in spite of knowing that I don't compare myself or my life with anyone else;
........trying hard to keep myself busy with work & studies even though I know I enjoy the both
........I am in a process to hate people / love / relationships and I was the one telling every one that life is too short to hate anything
........the loneliness and solitude that once was a source of inspiration is killing me these days

I have 100s of reasons to make mistakes but i am still holding on to make none...!!!

Worker's Compensation !!!

I am sure title of the post wont make any sense till now, coz it is not making any sense to me while I am writing this post. I am currently in my office, got two free hours after 2-3 weeks of hectic work and thats the reason I didn't write any post, though as always I felt like writing so many things but blogging never became first priority in these two weeks.

I haven't mentioned it anywhere on this blog but i'm currently working as a Catastrophic Risk Modeling Analyst in one of the many reinsurance companies around the world, I wont go into detail of my work profile or something but while I was working on my Cedants from last two weeks, one of my colleagues was working on some other which was "Abbreviated" as Worker's Compensation"... what it means is we make a valuation of human life. Sounds disgusting but thats the way it goes, we have always been taught that Human life is precious and there is no monetary value for; it but in this era of globalization even human life is meant for business. Softwares are there which calculate the losses that would occur in terms of human lives which are then multiplied by the value of each human life and the resulting number is meant for business.

I felt bad/awakward/weird knowing how can the valuation of life be made so simple, in just 1000's of dollars. Won't it be a better idea to spend 1000's of dollars in ensuring safety rather then making sure that a person gets a "compensation" after he/she is no more existing in the real world.

P.S : kindly have some patience,my blog would have more frequent posts in a couple of days from now !!

Parents !!!!

Yeah yeah I am writing this one, and its going to be a very senti one,atleast I want it to be that way. I wanted to write on this topic from the very day I made my first blog (which even i dont remember) but some how i was always short of words or rather there was so much to write and i just couldnt...!! Anyways..let me try now....

Its a human nature that everything which we think is ours by default, we take it for granted and it applies to most of us that we take our parents for granted. One more reason may be that we are seeing them from the day we opened our eyes and we feel they are with us for ever; so no matter what we do, they will be with us and in the process we do act the way we shouldn't. We shout at them,we hurt them, we never listen to them and we say that they dont understand us.

I still remember a story about my self, it was like 11 years ago when I was done with my 7th standard,it was my summer vacations and we went to some wedding,some where in Madhya Pradesh and since traveling by bus doesn't suit my mom, so My papa,My mummy and I were coming back by train, the place where we boarded the train had a small station and only local trains with all general boggies used to hault at the place, so we boarded the train in the night around 11 PM, the boggie was almost full with hardly any vacant seats, neither was any place on the floor. But some how we three managed to find a little space on the floor to sit through the night.(Ohh I forgot to mention that I'm a mummy's boy, being younger at the home I am close to my Mom and hence neither she could let me go with my other relatives in a bus nor i wanted to go). I still remember that for the first half an hour of the journet my Papa was all standing, mummy was sitting on the floor while i was made to sit besides another uncle in the train. As the night passed by, around 12:30 or so, I was feeling sleep and asked mummy for some water and also that i want to sleep now.I don't remember how but they asked some one on the floor to give some space to me so that I can sleep as comfortably as possible. So here I sleep on the floor of a general boggie's floor over a blanket my Mom carried, with my Mom sitting beside me in a very little space she can get. It was summer and its really hot in that part of India, so a news paper was used as an artificial fan for making me feel asleep.I dont remember when i felt asleep but i surely do remember is when I woke up in the morning,my mom was still sitting at the same place with the same news paper and on the other side of me, papa was sitting with a water bottle in hand and saw me with such a gentle smile on the face as if he had the most comfortable sleep.

I was too young to understand that because for me my sleep was the only thing I had in my mind, but when I look back now,memorizing that just one night,I cant control my emotions. This was just one of the millions of times when my parents would have considered my interest first before their own.

As a young kid, we would have asked our parents about one particular thing for hundreds of times, but now even if they ask us about something for more then 3-4 times,we feel irritated. Its so easy for us to say to our parents that they dont understand us, they dont let us do the things we want to, be it pursuing a certain career, throwing a party to friends or be it just another outing ....what we dont understand is the hundreds of sacrifices they would have made to let us reach to a point in life where we are able to speak of all this.

Its so easy for all of us to say things to them be it good or be it bad but its very difficult for us to understand their feelings when they get to hear that they dont understand us. What we also dont understand is that they care for us, everything they advice is for our good,following that advice is our choice but atleast we can listen to them in turn we react in such a strange way with so much annoying faces as if they dont know anything about this world and we are the only "wise and knowledgable bonds around".Do we ever think what would happen if our parents react the same way as we do when we speak loud at them ?? would we be able to live without that care,affection and the love??

I always ask my mom not to get tensed about me since i am staying away from home, I say many a times that i can manage my things now, and the only reply i get over and over again is "I wont understand untill I become a Parent" !!!!

I believe that our parents are far far far more valuable/important then just two persons who brought us in this world and took care of us and made us reach to a position when we can take care of them.We can never ever repay what they have done for us, we can only try to but we know it that we cant...!!!! But what we can certainly do is to make them realize that we have been brought up in the best possible way and we are proud to call them as our parents, we can certainly make sure that we dont hurt them with our words, we can have the patience to listen to them and learn from them...!!!! Now when I am in a position to, i really want to make my parents' life a heaven and it doesnt matter how much I need to work for that, i will do it...!!!!

They designed our past "completely" ;now its our turn to decide how we want to design a part of their present and future ...!!!!!

Note 1 : Word "we" is being used for general category of humans and doesn't refer to a particular group of people

Note 2 : The blog is not written to hurt anyone's emotions, and a big "Sorry" if any one is hurt by the content of blog.

Note 3 : Its never too late to ask for forgiveness from parents in case you ever hurted your parents and feeling guilty about it now.

Note 4 : The blog is not written for the sake of reading,commenting and forgetting, there is a big positive motive behind it.

P.S : Exceptions do exist, and there would still be a set of people who would take this post with negative intensions !!!! God bless them all .....